You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
