so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
