I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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