Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
