i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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