We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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