Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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