i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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