4 words: hood of his car
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
