what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
