I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
