she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
