Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
There was a lot of him and a little penis
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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