Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize