Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
