My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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