how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
