Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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