dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
