Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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