go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My life is pants optional.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
