i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
