So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
