So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize