let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
