Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Come on in and take your pants off
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