Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
