At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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