Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
operation have a gay friend backfired
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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