used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
