Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
