Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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