I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
