He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
