He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
