she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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