I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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