I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
