hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize