I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
