I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
