My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
