Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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