you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize