Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
