Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
