and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
