Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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