my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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