My first STD was from a foam party
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
