So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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