the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
