So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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