There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
