he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize