STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize