Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
