Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
