I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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