normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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