you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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