yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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