I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
